Ok so I’m trying not to let outside forces dictate my mood, but??? I’ve been way up and down back and forth a few times this week and now I’m well on my way down and I know what will make me go back up, but it won’t last long and it’ll start over again oogh I need to not.

I should just go to sleep I feel broken boop boop

*FAILS YET AGAIN AT NOT CHECKING EMAIL*

Dear self,

You are running on very low sleep today. Your general mental capacities are most likely impaired. Please don’t have a meltdown about something silly and put on some music and do homework okay?

Me

*tries and fails very hard to not check my email obsessively*

*chooses to believe that a folded over jam and butter sandwich counts as a well-rounded meal*

fuck you anxiety fuck you leave me alone

I love my housing but the logistics of being here are really difficult. Like:

- hour commute with the flash flood?? How??? Walking shoes are wet so do I walk in heels?? In a cobblestoned city? help
- laundry and money and oh god time and actual laundry process how everything is different and expensive here
- food. How do I afford and also eat enough without disobeying their rules?
- I can’t get back until 9:30pm some days and I can’t help that and I just I’m tired and scared

None of these are big things, I’m just stressing bc anxiety and logistics freak me out more than anything sometimes

*checks email anyways*

Someone stop me from checking my email obsessively that’s not good. Like dude he literally told you he can’t use one of his arms and you sent him a fucking essay there’s no way he responded sTOP.

*SLAMS HANDS ON TABLE* Laverne Cox is visiting my home institution while I’m abroad. WHY

Time for bed bye~

I really don’t enjoy parties apparently. Someone spiked the juice with vodka and it was gross. But there were chips so idk. And also kinda a lot of casual misogyny…? Who really knows. I’m just tired. Boop boop.

Ok getting out of bed no more tumbling be awake and go to school honey

Despite continued exhaustion, today has been a wonderful day.