k that’s it i’m done back to our regularly scheduled blogging

aka

i am not doing my homework

I’m about to go on a fonts reblogging spree you are warned

Give me two seconds to be angry and frustrated and idek

just because you think i’m good at drawing doesn’t fucking mean i can crank them out like it’s nothing doesn’t mean i won’t be up all night doesn’t mean i’m not going to be sobbing my fucking eyes out over these fucking costume renderings that still look like shit doesn’t mean it won’t take me over 6 hours doesn’t mean anything 

my drawing skills are irrelevant to my work ethic, creativity and ability to get anything done and i’m sick of it okay not just in this but the assumption that i’m going to do well no matter what because i have in the past because induction is bullshit and I want someone to know that it’s not that I’m saying I suck at everything I’d just like acknowledgement sometimes that whatever you think of my skill level on any given subject doesn’t mean it’s easy it’s not fucking easy and I feel like my brain is trying to eat me alive

this has been a psa

please carry on

oh god i don’t know if this soundscape project is going to be good or horrifyingly bad and I have to do a movement project to it I don’t know man i don’t know

DONE SENT IT IN AND I EVEN PROOFREAD IT THIS TIME

off to a few hours of sleep oops

wow going through my personal posts through this last year is just an exercise in anxiety and misfortune

I HIT A THOUSAND okay now to wrap up my thoughts, send it in as a revised draft to my professor and crash for a few hours then back up to work on all my other shit that really should’ve been done forever ago holy shit i have a final research paper due tuesday somebody make sure i get that done oh god oh god

150 words left i fucking swear

this fucking assignment needs to be 1000-1500 words long why is it only 737 on this document why you have betrayed me self you have betrayed me

i even liked the damn book why is this so difficult???

370ish words left?? this is like pulling teeth why

gdi it’s nearly 5am i have fucked up my sleep schedule so badly that I don’t feel tired at all bc I got a full night of glorious sleep and it seems that I’ve tricked my body into thinking it’s adjusted for four hours of sleep a night (which is a big fat fucking LIE BODY YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS YOU WILL HATE YOURSELF IN A COUPLE HOURS I PROMISE YOU)

sigh

it is nearly 4am and I will complete this assignment if it kills me damn it i only need to write ~500 words expounding upon modern mythology this sHOULD NOT BE DIFFICULT DAMN YOU 

my art style is so inconsistent I don’t know what to do I swear

i just want to be good??

SO ANYWAYS there was this post about 24-hour bookstores and I think this is the perfect opportunity to post about this thing that happened in Russia like holy shit

Basically, I went on a school trip with my living-learning community over winter break to St. Petersburg of all places like damn (I feel ridiculously lucky what) and atomicquepinkpunk and I took a walk along Nevsky Prospekt some late night because I mean what’s the point of being in Russia if you don’t stay out late and all that and we cAME UPON THIS TREASURE YOU SEE ABOVE

24-HOUR BOOKSTORE CAFE THING BABY

It’s called Буквоед (that links to their website) and it’s p much the best thing ever. We ended up staying til like, 2 or 3 on two different occasions. I got my Russian copy of Le Petit Prince and they have wifi and we used a translation app to communicate and the employee who helped was really nice and there were always people sitting around and reading on chairs and on the floor and there’s like this special book room full of special books or something idk man idk there’s also CDs and giant maps and stuff and a collaborative pinboard (hello fellow les mis fan??)

and the children’s section guys

and just

everything

oH AND YES THERE’S AN ENTIRE ROOM DEDICATED TO ART SUPPLIES

IT’S ALSO AN ART SUPPLY STORE

books and food and arts and reading space and constantly open

like what more could you even want

This one is located at Nevsky Prospekt, 46 in St. Petersburg, Russia. I think there might be a couple others as well, but this is the only one we went to. 

Now you know. I’m sorry that it’s probably not accessible to the vast majority of people, but if you ever get to St. Petersburg, know that there’s a 24 hour bookstore in the vicinity.

shit shit shit anxiety fucking shit

i just have to fill out a couple of forms and this is what happens holy hell what HAPPENED to my mental state this year everything is ridiculous