You know why I love AUs? Because the whole point of them is that everything is changed, and yet these two people are still going to meet and fall in love- that they’re so set in stone and so meant to be that you can change literally everything in a hundred universes and they’ll fall in love over and over again.
I’m starting to wonder where all this fear stems from?
like i’ve got it narrowed down to thinking I’m not a good enough person for it, thinking it won’t work out and the inevitable disappointment, thinking that I’m projecting and overinvesting and going to hurt someone else or myself, thinking that the professor just won’t respond at ALL and that will exacerbate the problem, thinking that the professor is going to think i’m utterly insane and tell me off
idk like none of these are really spectacularly bad per se, I’m just kinda lost and confused by everything and vacillate between thinking no this might turn out amazingly and thinking holy shit worst idea you’ve EVER HAD CHILD TURN BACK NOW
but I guess I just have to remember that things always change so even if something terrible happens, it won’t last.
'marius was so handsome. so damn handsome. it was sad because he had no idea but im telling you ok he was real hot. he would think back fondly on his parisian handsomeness when we was like sixty and probably living in guernsey maybe. i don't know i'm just writing the book. anyway, he was at least a seven.'